


Eternally Flushed

by anonymousAuthor (androgynousAuthor)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcoholic Rose Lalonde, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, F/F, F/M, No Smut, No Spoilers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pesterlog, Recovering Alcoholic, Trolls on Earth, angsty, my second fanfic, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-08 12:28:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11646567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgynousAuthor/pseuds/anonymousAuthor
Summary: After the death of her mother, the newfound hate of her brother and recovering from being a heavy alcoholic, Rose Lalonde feels completely alone. Until she meets Kanaya.





	1. "To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."   - J.K Rowling

 

> "To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."   - J.K Rowling

Some say death is the end of one person’s life, but the beginning of another's. Or the awakening for someone, but for me, the death of my mother, was just the end of a chapter, a simple fact. And no one can close a book before it has begun.

My mother died at the age of 45 because the alcohol she drank destroyed her liver and heart. She died the death of an idiot. Her actions killed her, I won’t deny it. I also will not deny the fact that I am exactly like her in more ways than I’d like to be. For one, I drink just like her; night and day. Though I did inherit some of her more redeeming qualities, like her sharp wit (when she was not drunk) and her intelligence. We also have a passion for sarcasm and irony, in a similar fashion to my brother.

I sit on a hard stool, nursing my third whiskey. We are at my mother’s old house, now my own. The after party is large, as my mother had a thing for extravagance. We’ve invited friends from all over, family we haven’t seen since we were children, colleges of our mother’s, college of our own. We invited everyone we know. Around me music blares, though it is classical jazz, not something modern.

My brother, Dave Lalonde, strides up to me. He glares at me for a second before snatching away my drink.

“What the hell!” He reprimands. “Our mother just died from this stuff and you want to go around drinking more, like a fucking idiot?!”

“I can decide how to live my life, thank you very much!” I snap back, grabbing for the glass, but he holds it out of my reach.

“You don’t even have the honor to be sober for her reception!” I’ve felt this fight brewing for a long time. Since my mother died, since he showed up to ‘help’, since he ‘forgot’ to figure out something to say at her ceremony. Dave Lalonde has been a dick in my eyes for a long time.

“Not like you did much better!” I stand up, jabbing my finger into his chest. “You ‘forgot’ to find something nice to say about her. Probably because your whole life the only one you cared about was yourself!”

“You were so caught up in your little ‘war’ with her, that you didn’t even notice the rest of us- or anyone for the matter!” People are staring at use now. “Your whole life you’ve been such a bitch, and you think you can justify yourself now?”

“The only reason you came to this moronic funeral was because you were ‘in town’. If you didn’t have a gig to play, you would’ve stayed at home to do god knows what!” I’m up in his face, nose to nose, screaming. “I came because I loved her, you came because you felt like it.”

“At least I can function without her, you don’t even have a job. You know, the reason dad split from mom was because she was raising you to be a shitty person like her, right?”

I lunge at him, even in my dress I fight. The buzz from my whiskey pushing me forward. I easily pin him down and throw a good punch at his stupid nose. I can hear a crack of bones and see the bridge of his shade break. Dave shoves me off and before he can land a kick in my gut, someone drags us apart.

  
  


Two hours later, everyone has left, after the fight people started to leave. We ruined it, I ruined it. Everything is ruined.

I don’t let it control me, instead I retreat to my pastime of knitting. I sometimes fear that knitting has become associated with the elderly, a boring activity. I still find it compelling and elegant. The way the needles work together to pull the yarn in just the right way and create something beautiful.

At the moment I’m working on a long, light and dark purple scarf. Originally I was making it for my mother, who had gotten so many beer stains on her previous one, that it no longer looked purple. Now though, I suppose it will have to be my own.

I play haunting violin refrains while I knit. They remind me of the dark tales of a wizard that I am writing. There is the hollow knock of my door, followed by the sound of my brother’s voice.

“Rose?” I do not respond, he does not deserve to be tolerated any longer. “Rose? Fine! If you aren’t going to answer, then I’ll just leave. Have fun living your life without me!”

A slight smirk plays across my lips, but it quickly turns to a frown. I gulp down a bottle of vodka and stare at the bottom for a long time. I drink one after another until every breath feels like a thousand. My vision turns fuzzy, and I before I realize it, I pass out.


	2. "Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says to love your enemy."   -Frank Sinatra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna start running out of quotes, so please tell me some!

> "Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says to love your enemy."   -Frank Sinatra

gardenGnostic [GG] started pestering tentacleTherapist[TT] at 14:07

[GG]: rose?

[GG]: rose????????????

[GG]: rose answer me!!!!!

[TT]: Hello Jade, sorry for the wait.

[GG]: hi rose! how are you doing?

[TT]: Considering my mother just died, pretty good.

[TT]: But the alcohol is probably responsible for that.

[GG]: ha ha ha

[GG]: it’s probably not good to laugh at that

[TT]: Yes, but we must laugh away the pain. Or in this case, drink it away.

I take a sip of vodka from my glass. And as I wait for Jade to respond, I finish the glass and pour myself another.

[GG]: you’re right

[GG]: well actually you’re kinda wrong

[GG]: you started drinking way too early

[TT]: Perhaps, but many of the greatest men drank their hearts out nightly and were still able to create something magnificent.

[GG]: yeah, but men are also stupid

[GG]: you aren’t a man

I take a thoughtful sip, which turns into a gulp. Jade is probably right, but it’s very difficult to stop drinking, at least, that is what I tell myself. 

[GG]: so… 

[GG]: rose? you still there?????

[TT]: Yes, sorry. Got lost in thought for a second.

[GG]: soooooooooooo…

[GG]: you and john huh?

[TT]: I’m afraid I have no idea as to what you’re talking about.

[GG]: oh, c’mon 

[GG]: you guys have to be dating by now!

[TT]: John is not my type, and I’m vaguely offended for you to be shipping us.

[GG]: rose, i'm sorry to say it, but you don't have many friends

[GG]: and having a boyfriend could help you

[TT]: Ah, the therapist becomes the patient. 

[TT]: But, once again, John is not my type.

[GG]: are you sure about that? ; )

[TT]: Would you date my brother?

[GG]: uhh…… 

[TT]: Please don’t say yes.

[GG]: well other than john he’s the only boy in our friend group

[GG]: and I can’t date john cause he is family… 

[GG]: but back to the topic of your brother

[TT]: Oh gog,

[GG]: he said you guys weren’t talking

[TT]: I didn’t know we were not talking, but I suppose now it is official.

[GG]: did something happen? dave wouldn’t tell me 

[TT]: We had a fight, nothing to concern yourself with.

I’m on my sixth glass of vodka.

[GG]: rose, i do worry about you sometimes

[GG]: you should apologize to him

[TT]: I won’t apolejize to that jerk!

[TT]: Dave doesn’t desrv to be frogivn.

[GG]: rose are you okay?

[GG]: you sound drunk

[TT]: I miht be

[TT]: a litle drunk

[TT]: *little

[GG]: you should go lie down

[GG] and stop drinking!!!!!

[TT]: I’m fine, relly.

I down another glass, it makes my stomach churn.

[GG]: rose… 

[GG]: go take care of yourself

[GG]: i’ll talk to you later

[GG]: when you’re sober

gardenGnostic [GG]  ceased pestering  tentacleTherapist [TT] at 14:48

Throw up on the floor next to my desk. Not much comes up and I end up dry heaving for a while. My vision is fuzzy and my thoughts are clouded. When I get up to walk to my bed, it feels like trudging through syrup. My steps sticky and wet.

Thinking hurts and I almost get an aspirin for myself, but think better of it as I do not need to be high and drunk. I lie on my bed and, following Jade’s instructions, sleep.

I wake up to morning sunlight, which shines through my blinds. It hurts my eyes to look at them. It hurts to move and think and- god I despise hangovers.

I roll out of bed and stare at my clock until my brain registers that it’s almost seven thirty in the morning. Not bad, but I do have to get up and start my day. I take a cold shower, and brush out my short hair. I put on a headband, funny how I’ve had the same style since I was seven. After that, I change into a black skirt and purple shirt.

I grab my purse and head out. I have work until noon, and I’m dreading it more than anything. I step into my mother’s car, now mine I suppose. She left everything to me, I got her money, house, car and all of her belongings. One of the perks of not leaving as soon as I could unlike my brother. 

My head begins pounding as I pull up to where I work. It’s a small coffee shop, I only work there to support myself with food and other essentials. My real job is writing, but until my novel is finished, this is where I work.

When I push open the door a little bell rings, alerting everyone of my presence. ‘Everyone’ includes a peppy seventeen year old girl named Haven, a friendly 39 year old man named Ethan and, an old woman named Queen. 

I walk behind the counter and set my stuff down. Haven and Ethan are sitting down, bored, playing cards at a table. 

“Ethan, Haven where has Queen gone”

“Running some errand I think,” Ethan answers me. He and Haven get up and come to the counter, both of them start to run machines and prepare for costumers. 

Haven’s eyes meet mine and she frowns, “Rose, are you okay?”

“I am fine, thank you.”

“No, I mean you look really tired and pale, sick.”

“Nothing to worry about, just a few too many drinks last night.”

“Oh.” Her voice is quiet and small.

Around eight o’clock people start to rush in and out of the shop. At about nine thirty Queen returns. I follow her into the break room.

“Excuse me, Queen, but if you don’t mind, I would like to talk with you.”

“Just a second, Rose.” Queen takes a seat and looks at me, “what do you need.”

“I’m quitting.”

She stares at me for a few seconds before speaking, “Why?”

“My mother recently died and I received a large sum of money from her. I no longer need this job and because my book is almost complete, I won’t need to come back.” I smile at her. “I’m politely resigning.”

After an hour, I am officially no longer an employee at ‘Queen’s Coffee’. My phone buzzes in my back pocket and I open up pesterchum.

[EB]: hey, rose

[TT]: Yes, John?

[EB]: i just wanted to say hi and check in on you

[EB]: jade says you and dave got in a fight and aren’t speaking.

[EB]: what happened?

[TT]: Nothing, really

[TT]: He yelled at me about drinking and I retaliated. 

[EB]: are you sure?

[TT]: Hmm, I may have been a little harsh.

[TT]: I did open up some old wounds.

[TT]: As did he.

[EB]: he’s right you know, about drinking.

[EB]: jade and i, we both think you should at least try to stop.

[TT]: I’ll stop when I have the time. 

[TT]: I’ve almost completed my book.

[EB]: you’re writing a book?!

[EB]: how did i not know that?

[EB]: we don’t talk enough, rose.

[TT]: Well, I cannot spend every waking moment with my friends, John.

[TT]: When I do spare time, you just happen to be away.

[TT]: Now, is that all? Or did you want something else?

[EB]: well…

[EB]: umm, so

[EB]: jade says you like me.

[TT]: That bitch!

[EB]: it’s true!?

[TT]: No.

[TT]: Jade is just trying to set us up.

[TT]: It is her newest obsession.

[TT]: She has this idea the we’re all going to ‘get together’ and be happy.

[EB]: oh, well

[EB]: that’s it, i gotta go

[EB]: bye, rose!

That night I get drunk once more and at three am, having one of the worst hangovers of my life, I wonder if maybe I should stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first ever fic in which I've used pester logs/ colored text. I hate it so much. I pity all who have to do this. Reviews appreciated!


	3. “One of the first principles of perseverance, is to know when to stop persevering.”   -Carolyn Wells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this taking so long! I completely forgot

> “One of the first principles of perseverance, is to know when to stop persevering.”   -Carolyn Wells
> 
>  

Pushing open a door with a small, paper sign reading; Stopping Alcohol, I can see a circle of foldable chairs. The room smells like coffee, fresh paper and alcohol. The people sitting in the chairs are exactly the people I thought would be here; greasy haired sluts, who are doing this because their boyfriend or girlfriend asked them. This is what I wanted, to be with the worsts. In the center is a depressed looking man with bright orange hair and a clipboard. 

“Ah, you must be Ms. Lalonde!” The man has a strained happy voice, he introduces himself as Jeremiah Noah. Jeremiah Introduces everyone and then tells me to introduce myself, how I got into drinking, and why I’ve decided to stop.

“My name is Rose Lalonde. I am twenty-five and an aspiring author. I started drinking when I was fifteen years old-”

“Why?” Jeremiah looks genuinely interested, so I continue.

“My mother was an alcoholic and she wasn’t around much, I was exposed to it my whole life and it just made me feel close to her. I’ve decided to stop because my mother died recently from alcohol and my friends are really pressuring me.” The group silently nods. Everyone else shares about breakthroughs or fallbacks. At the end Jeremiah ‘assigns’ us some ‘homework’. He tells us to try to stop in small bits, like no drinking for a week, then two, then three and so on. This will be dreadful.

After an hour of crap, I leave. 

Outside a guy corners me. “Hey, sweetheart,” His breath smells like beer, he came to an alcohol recovering session drunk, it almost makes me laugh. “You wanna come to my place… my wife is gone.”

 I stare in disgust for a second, before collecting my self. “I’m terribly sorry, but I’m lesbian.” He returns my disgusted stare before stalking off. This time I really laugh, the best way to turn a guy off is tell them you don’t swing that way. When I get home, I pick up my phone and pester Jade.

tentacleTherapist[TT] started pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 16:38

[TT]: Hello?

[GG]: rose! listen i’m sorry about john and stuff

[GG]: he said you were mad at me

[TT]: Jade, I apologize for the misunderstanding, you were trying to help. But don’t do that again.

[TT]: Ever.

[GG]: yay! sorry though

[TT]: I just wanted to tell you that I have decided to quit alcohol and I am attending a help group.

[GG]: really?

[GG]: good for you! john and dave will be so happy

[GG]: have you told them yet?

[TT]: No, I planned on contacting John next. Dave and I are not on speaking terms.

[GG]: oh

[GG]: sorry

[GG]: howd it go though?

[TT]: Well, one of the men tried to get me to go home with him.

[GG]: oh shit!

[GG]: are you okay? did he hurt you?!

[TT]: Jade, you are my best friend, you should know how I turn people off.

[GG]: oh yeah…

[GG]: the gay thing right?

[TT]: Correct.

[GG]: wait!

[GG]: i wanted to give you this person’s chumhandle

[GG]: he’s a troll! and super funny too

[GG]: carcinoGeneticist [GG]: have fun! gardenGnostic

[GG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 16:52

 

I stare at the screen, but decide to talk to this guy later.

 

tentacleTherapist[TT] started pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 16:53

[TT]: John?

[EB]: hey

[EB]: sorry if the last chat was awkward

[TT]: It’s fine.

[TT]: I just wanted to inform you that I’ve decided to stop drinking.

[EB]: really? that’s awesome!!!

[TT]: Yes, it is.

[TT]: I also wanted to ask if you new a troll by the chumhandle of carcinoGeneticist.

[TT]: Jade wanted me to talk with him, but I wanted to make sure she isn’t trying to set me up.

[EB]: oh, karkat?

[EB]: he’s fine, and totally awesome!

[EB]: also karkat’s totally not that kind of person.

[TT]: Thank you, John.

[TT]: Now, I have things to do.

[TT]: Goodbye.

[EB]: bye rose!

tentacleTherapist[TT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 17:00

I turn off the phone and walk into my empty house. It’s only about four, so I decide to work on my book. I’ve always wanted to become an author and for the past several years, I’ve been working on a wizard book. Dave calls it fanfiction, but I thinks it’s art. Time passes quickly, and before I know it… it’s ten thirty at night. Fuck, it’s to late for dinner, so I just go to bed. And just before I fall asleep, I realize that I didn’t drink alcohol all day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also do you this rose is ooc? i feel she might be

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Reviews are appreciated, please tell me if I'm getting the characters right and stuff. Also I apologize if I got something wrong.


End file.
